Carol Rose Adkisson – Unmasking Therapy
I am on a mission to unmask therapy because healing comes through connection.
“I Shouldn’t Be Here, and yet I am”
I love to write, it helps me to process through ideas that cross my mind throughout the day. Today I am processing this idea that I don’t believe I should be where I am today. The point being I came from horrific abuse as a child, I was raised without a Dad, I never met him. My mother neglected my sisters and myself. I would say we raised ourselves. I easily could have been a statistic, self medicating, using any number of means to not feel the unprocessed feelings from my life.
This is where it gets interesting. I don’t know why I am not that statistic. Although no one would have come to my high school graduation, I graduated the top 10% of my high school class. I graduated in three years from high school, as a 16 year old child. I immediately went to college and back in those days I was a Computer Science major, I even worked as a system’s analyst in the Aerospace industry. Later on as the kids grew up, I went back to school to receive my Bachelors of Science and my Masters of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy. I was in my 40’s, raising three children by myself as my husband left two months into my reentry into college. Living out my dream of becoming a therapist slowly began to unfold. I didn’t give up. Again, its amazing that I didn’t become a statistic of quitting during the difficult times of my kids high school years and my Mom’s decline due to Cancer and eventually her dying as one of my classes in my Master’s Program was scheduled to start.
I have three children from the same man. All three of my children are currently in college. Two of my sons are at the University of Riverside, one being a Physics Major and the other is a Business Major. That is a story in itself as my boys are both Special Needs kids. My Daughter graduated in three years with her Bachelors Degree in Research Psychology, is currently beginning her last year in her Master’s Program in Statistical Analysis in Research Psychology and will be applying to her Doctoral Program most likely in Neuroscience as a Clinical Psychology.
Have I struggled with addiction? Yes. Food and Relationships was my drug of choice. Food and Relationships as a coping skill was stripped from me 8.5 years ago, in other words I faced those icky feelings head on at that point. Many people don’t make it through this time, releasing your go to method of not feeling. Again, I shouldn’t have made it through this time, and I did.
During the last eight years I have really come to know myself, I believe something we all need to do to be most effective to live out our calling for our lives. I realize that intuitively I have been preparing and accepting myself with less judgment. In a way the more I understood myself the more I accepted my human flaws as normal and ok. I would love to see a statistic around his idea, how many people really get to this point in there lives? It’s like I have been saying how do you pass down healthy emotions when you are not allowed to express emotions as a human and as a clinician if you don’t know who you are?
Should I be where I am? Owning a Private Practice, Being the founding CEO of a non-profit called the Trauma and Healing Foundation. Moving up to a seven-office suite soon. Two books with a release date 15 days away. A speaker, an expert in many fields, no I clearly should not be this person, and yet as I repeat as my motto, #ificandoityoucandoit. Live your Magnificent Life. Maybe all of us have a story that can inspire someone else. If you don’t own who you are, you may miss out on healing through connection with others.