Its time you and your partner had a serious conversation without screaming, yelling, or fighting. You know that the two of you love each other, but lately you’re both so on edge that all you ever do is argue. You’re so ready to find how to move past the conflict and enjoy each other’s company again.
The beginning of your relationship was so easy. It was almost as if you and your partner could read each other’s minds. You didn’t spend a lot of time working on your communication skills because you really didn’t need to. You just “got” each other. Your relationship flowed along in a smooth and natural way.
The two of you swore you’d never take the other for granted. And if anything difficult did come up, you promised you’d deal with it in a healthy and respectful way. It was important for both of you to make sure you always felt loved and that you made your relationship a priority.
Now, you had to admit that you knew the honeymoon stage wouldn’t last forever. You expected to have some rough patches and rocky times. In fact, you believed that the tough experiences would make you stronger and bring you closer as a couple.
But, you never expected your relationship to deteriorate to the level of conflict it has reached today. You certainly didn’t think you’d communicate in shouts or passive aggressive statements. You had no idea you’d want to get as far away from your partner as possible in order to avoid a fight. And, you surely didn’t expect to be the aggressor and chase down your loved one just to make sure you got your point across.
So now your relationship exists
In a constant state of tension
Deep down you know you’re both still in love with each other. But neither of you has any idea how to set aside your pride and admit something desperately needs to be fixed.
It hit you the other evening…
You had finally wrapped up a huge client project at work. One that had been stressing you out for months. It was the first night in a while you wouldn’t have to bring any work home and you were really looking forward to kicking off your shoes and reconnecting with your loved one. When you went to pull in the driveway, you couldn’t park in your spot because there were three strange cars already there. Turns out, your partner had invited buddies over to watch the game on your big screen.
You really tried to keep your composure, especially in front of your partners friends – many of whom you’d never met. But your blood was boiling, and you felt like you just had to say something. You knew you should watch your words carefully, but instead you let a snarky comment slip. You immediately felt the tension rise in the room. You thought about dropping it, but you said something else, and that something else turned into a full-blown argument.
Out of the corner of your eye you saw everyone sneaking toward the door. Humiliated by the way you acted, you ran into your bedroom. And the shame washed over you.
You started to think:
“All I wanted was one night of closeness with my partner, but we can’t even talk about simple things let alone state our needs.”
“Our partnership is so disconnected. We’re never going to get back to where we were.”
“How could my loved one possibly think it was ok to have a bunch of people over without talking to me.”
“It doesn’t matter what I want, we’re not going to be able to reconnect.”
But when you stopped wallowing in how bad things have gotten, you realized:
“We still love each other, so we’re going to be able to find a way to make this work”
You honestly thought your relationship was just going through a tough time, but when you really pay attention
There are some fundamental things you and your partner never learned how to do together. You’ve both swept your differences under the rug rather than embracing them for the good qualities they bring to the relationship. Your lack of communication skills doesn’t serve you anymore because your relationship has grown past the “free and easy” stage. In fact, you’re both starting to realize just how much work you’re going to have to put in if you want a happy, healthy relationship to last for the long-term.
It’s frustrating to admit your relationship has reached the place where you have to put in continuous effort.
But the truth is, if the two of you can put aside your pride, you can strengthen the foundational aspects that will take your relationship far into the future. Just because you feel disconnected now doesn’t mean your relationship can’t recover and become stronger than ever. Your relationship is not the only one to feel demanding. Other couples have grown out of the honeymoon stage and still found a way to love and respect each other.
The key is figuring out how to do this in a way that makes both partners feel like their needs are met.
You’re ready to get your relationship back to a good place.
With Couples Counseling with Carol Rose Adkisson in Fontana, California
You will learn to acknowledge the communication and/or trust issues in your relationship that have brought you to this point in your relationship.
You will acknowledge any pain or trauma from your past that is impacting your current relationship so you both can move forward without baggage
You will take the insight from session and channel it into behaviors that lead you and your partner to a more meaningful and connected marriage, resulting in the type of relationship you both want.
You will experiment with new strategies to make yourself and your partner feel more loved and understood, ultimately helping the relationship achieve change.
Together, you will implement practice and patience to achieve progress rather than perfection.
The Couples Counseling Process
We’ll meet together weekly for 45-50 minute sessions. Typically, Couples Counseling sessions last for 10 weeks, but couples often start to see a shift in the relationship after three meetings.
To help couples better negotiate their relationships I utilize a variety of evidenced-based approaches to therapy including family systems therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and Gottman couples therapy as well as my own intuitive style, mixed with transformational training which teaches you new ways of seeing you and your partner. We are also trained in Prepare/Enrich a test that will walk you through pre-marital or post marital counseling. Each therapeutic approach offers couples a different method of healing their relationship and focuses on negative thought patterns, attachment, and conflict management. Couples counseling can help you and your partner enjoy spending time together again.
Parenting may also can be a large source of stress in your relationship. Whether you are part of a blended family, there is a new baby, or you are navigating co-parenting, children and parenting issues effect our relationships.
Here’s what to expect:
- WEEK ONE: Intake
- During this initial session, we define the therapeutic relationship and discuss the details of the therapy contract. I gather information about you and your partner, your respective bio/psycho/social histories, and how your experiences to date have shaped your current relationship behaviors. We also discuss the goals you have for your relationship going forward.
- WEEK TWO and Beyond: Couples Counseling
- During the remaining sessions, we will spend time addressing the conflict within your relationship and healing the cracks that caused you both to struggle within the partnership. You will learn to make your relationship a priority and so that you and your partner can start to feel hopeful about reconnecting. We will also work together to understand your partner and not take their behaviors personally.
Lastly, we will explore that works and what doesn’t in your relationship.
More About Me
Hi, I’m Carol, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I am invested in helping couples overcome the root causes of the conflict within their relationship. It is my job to help my couples understand the patterns in their lives that have made them who they are and challenge the disconnection and poor communication that have cause a breakdown in the relationship in the first place. My passion is helping couples learn to date and enjoy each other again so that they can strengthen their bond and create a happier life together.
Who Benefits Most from Couples Counseling with Carol Rose Adkisson
Couples Counseling is best for partners who are dedicated to improving the quality and satisfaction within their relationship. My signature approach to helping couples heal quickly gets to the root of the problem and supports couples in creating a stronger relationship than ever before. You will benefit from Couples Counseling with me if:
- You hope to improve your communication skills and connection, so you can have healthy conversations again
- You need help discovering new ways to discuss tough topics, so you can avoid unnecessary arguments
- You are looking for more compromise and negotiation in your relationship so you and your partner can both be happy
- You want to feel as if you are “dating” again and enjoy each other’s company
- You are motivated and ready for a partnership that can withstand challenges without always ending up in conflict
There are certain situations where you might not be ready for Couples Counseling with me. These situations include, but are not limited to:
- Those who are looking for a quick fix to their relationship
- Those who are not ready to commit to more than three counseling sessions
- Those who are afraid to explore their role in the declining relationship
- Recent domestic violence situations I will recommend individual counseling
What Does Couples Counseling for Infidelity with Carol Rose Adkisson Cost?
I am not currently in network with insurance companies.
In the meantime, you and I can work together to explore payment options such as Flexible Spending Accounts, Health Service Accounts, and Out of Network insurance benefits.
Counseling with Carol Rose Adkisson is fee-for-service at the rate of $150 per hour and accepts all major forms of payment.
Your Next Steps
It is possible for you and your partner to have a relationship with very little conflict. You will be able to talk about touchy subjects and have the difficult conversations without automatically breaking out in a fight. You will feel confident that your relationship is strong and that little things are not going to come between you and the person you love.
It seems like all you do right now is fight. But this doesn’t mean you will never be able to get back to a happy place and create a healthier relationship than you’ve ever had.
You’ll be able to communicate with your partner without screaming, yelling, or stonewalling. You’ll be able to stop walking on eggshells or wondering if the next thing you say is going to set them off. Ultimately, you’ll have peace of knowing your relationship is not stuck in a place of high conflict and that you can have some ease and relief just enjoying each other.
To schedule an appointment for Couples Counseling with Carol Rose Adkisson in Fontana, California call 909-693-3177.