You want to believe your relationship can come back from the ultimate betrayal. To look at your partner with love in your eyes again and feel like the two of you can make it through anything – together.
When you and your partner first met you were so in love. You cherished each other. And it didn’t feel antiquated or old-fashioned at all. You just felt that strongly about each other. You spent time together, invested in truly getting to know one another, and dedicated your energy to making each other happy. Your relationship was new and exciting, and you wanted to keep it that way.
You promised yourself, you’d work hard to always make your partnership a priority. You never saw yourself wanting to emphasize any other part of your life as much as your relationship. It was important for both of you to make sure your always felt loved and respected and that you held a special place in each other’s lives.
That’s not to say you thought you should sacrifice everything for the sake of your relationship. In fact, you believed in creating a well-rounded partnership that allowed each of you to pursue the things that made you happy and still come together as a source of support. You and your partner were building something special and you sometimes had to pinch yourself to believe it.
That’s why the infidelity came as such a shock.
You never expected your relationship to become so vulnerable that one of you would choose to stray. You never knew you would get pulled in so many different directions by the demands in your life. You had no idea you’d want to find a bit of identity and space for yourself. And, you surely didn’t expect your relationship to suffer from the challenges of a normal life.
So now you find yourself
In incredible pain and disbelief.
You’re still in love with your partner but have no idea how to reestablish any sort of trust or intimacy and you don’t know if your relationship can survive this kind of transgression.
You just realized how bad it’s gotten…
Your partner’s phone rang during dinner. You tried so hard to keep yourself from becoming suspicious but couldn’t help it as feelings of jealousy and rage started to well up. You searched your partner’s face for any sign of who it could be on the other end of the line. You rationalized it was their boss, their best friend, or their mother, but couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going on.
When they finally hung up the phone and returned to the dinner table they never said who it was. Your heart raced even more, and you felt yourself growing more and more upset. Finally, you couldn’t help it anymore and you lashed out at your partner, accusing them of cheating all over again.
But in a moment of clarity you looked around recognized how you were acting.
Horrified your behavior, you burst into tears. And the shame washed over you.
Your thoughts started to race:
- “Something is truly wrong with me. I’m going to ruin anything that’s left of this relationship.”
- “Our partnership is so dysfunctional. We’re never going to get back to where we were.”
- “My partner doesn’t care about my feelings or this relationship or they never would have taken that call.”
- “Even when I’m trying to move on, the infidelity follows me.”
But when you came out of your irrational rant, when you stopped panicking, and your circular thoughts slowed, you admitted to yourself:
- “There has to be a way to save our love”
You believed you and your partner were moving past the infidelity, but when you really think about it
You’ve been pretending nothing bad ever happened You’ve both swept everything under the rug and chosen to move on rather than address the cheating, embrace it and heal from it. None of what you’ve been doing has actually moved your relationship forward in any way. In fact, acting like it never happened and lashing out any time you feel triggered is only driving the two of you further apart. You’ve been distant a lot more than you’d like to admit despite both of you committing to “work on things,” and you struggle to remember why you even fell in love in the first place.
It’s extremely heartbreaking to think about the person you love so much betraying you.
But the truth is, infidelity is often caused by both partners’ behaviors and everyone in the relationship needs to take responsibility. The problem though, is just like any other transgression, it’s really hard to sacrifice your pride and admit you did something wrong. Your relationship is not the only one to go through infidelity and stall. Other couples have experienced cheating and had to decide how to move forward.
The key is figuring out how to do this in a way that makes both partners happy and allows them to heal.
You’re ready to get your relationship back to a good place.
With Couples Counseling for Infidelity with Carol Rose Adkisson in Fontana, California
You will learn to acknowledge the missteps in your relationship that brought about infidelity and have brought you to this point in your relationship
You will feel comfortable grieving your relationship and expressing the pain you feel since the cheating occurred.
You will develop better ways to handle your problems and challenges so neither partner feels the need to stray beyond the relationship
You will come to know the underlying triggers of infidelity and how to keep them from creeping back into your relationship
You will infuse your relationship with hope knowing you and your partner can come back from something so devastating to feel stronger and more connected than ever.
The Couples Counseling for Infidelity Process
We’ll meet together weekly for 45- 50 minute sessions. Typically, Couples Counseling for Infidelity sessions last for 10 weeks, but couples often start to see a shift in the relationship after three meetings.
To help couples grow a healthy, long-lasting relationship I have developed a signature approach to infidelity counseling. This approach to therapy helps couples by much quicker than the standard methods for healing. This approach to therapy focuses on what was wrong with the couple’s relationship when the cheating started and how does the partner who was cheated on gain back trust with their spouse.
Here’s what to expect:
WEEK ONE: Intake
During this initial session, we define the therapeutic relationship and discuss the details of the therapy contract. I gather information about you and your traumatic experiences and how they have impacted your behaviors. We also discuss the goals you have for your relationships with loved ones and how to overcome debilitating anxiety.
WEEK TWO and Beyond: Couples Counseling for Infidelity
During the remaining sessions, we will spend time addressing the pain of infidelity and healing your relationship of the cracks that caused the cheating to happen in the first place. You will learn to make your relationship a priority so that you and your partner can start to feel hopeful about moving forward together. We will also work together to develop new coping skills so that you can rely on tactics other than cheating.
More About Me
Hi, I’m Carol, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I am invested in helping couples overcome the root causes of their infidelity so that they can develop healthy coping skills that do not involve cheating when their relationship hits a rough patch. It is my job to help my couples understand the patterns in their lives that have made them who they are and challenge the disconnection and poor communication that have cause a breakdown in the relationship in the first place. My passion is helping couples rise above their transgressions and forge stronger relationships that can last through the tough times.
Who Benefits Most from Couples Counseling for Infidelity
Couples Counseling for Infidelity is best for couples who have experienced a transgression in their relationship but want to remain together. My signature approach to helping couples heal from infidelity quickly gets to the root of the problem and supports couples in creating a stronger relationship than ever before. You will benefit from Couples Counseling for Infidelity with me if:
- You hope to improve your communication skills and connection, so you can repair the damage to your relationship
- You need help discovering new ways to overcome your fears and worries so you can start to believe your relationship will recover
- You are looking to say goodbye to the relationship you had before infidelity, and build an even stronger one going forward
- You want to feel as if you are “dating” again and enjoy each other’s company
- You are motivated and ready for a partnership that can withstand challenges without one or both partners cheating
There are certain situations where you might not be ready for Couples Counseling for Infidelity with me. These situations include, but are not limited to:
- Those who are looking for a quick fix to their relationship
- Those who are not ready to explore their many layers of that have contributed to infidelity
- Those who are afraid to explore the truth of their circumstances
- Those who are unable to admit their role in the infidelity
What Does Couples Counseling for Infidelity with Carol Rose Adkisson Cost?
I am not currently in network with insurance companies.
In the meantime, you and I can work together to explore payment options such as Flexible Spending Accounts, Health Service Accounts, and Out of Network insurance benefits.
Counseling with Carol Rose Adkisson is fee-for-service at the rate of $150 per hour and accepts all major forms of payment.
Your Next Steps
It is possible for your relationship to come back from infidelity. You will be able to look your partner in the eye, trust what they are saying, and feel connected. You will feel secure, knowing that, even though your relationship has gone through something awful, you and your partner have come out the other side – stronger.
Just because one of you has cheated in the past, does not mean you will never be able to get back to a happy place and create a healthier relationship than you’ve ever had.
You’ll be able to love your partner without feelings of fear, worry, sadness, anger, and hopeless. You’ll be able to stop walking on eggshells or wondering if you both will stay faithful. Ultimately, you’ll have peace of knowing your relationship is not permanently damaged and your hope will return as you realize you can work toward fixing your situation.
To schedule an appointment for Couples Counseling for Infidelity with Carol Rose Adkisson in Fontana, California call 909-693-3177.